my son


I had walked around with my heart outside my body for the past week, I will tell you why. My only son (almost 13 now), went to Germany on a school trip by coach, the first time he’s been away from us in a foreign land. We gave him a mobile phone so we could reach him, but he never contacted us after he crossed over to France. We had the hostel phone number in Germany and the teachers had all the parents’ contact numbers for emergencies, so it was fine really. But for the first time in my life, I actually felt what it was like to miss my child so much, I couldn’t sleep at all for the first couple of nights, and made lots of prayers that he would be safe and well. I just wished he would reply to my calls and text messages, even though at the back of my mind I knew he was all right and probably had messed up his phone somehow (first time we ever let him use an activated one). On the day he was due home, I called him once more at the time he would have crossed over to England, and he answered the phone! I was just so happy and relieved! He quickly apologised for not contacting me, he had used up all his mobile credit trying to get access to the internet on the coach (it was a 12 hour journey from South West England through France, Belgium and then to Cologne, Germany). The whole family went to fetch him from school when he finally returned at 10pm, I hugged and kissed him and felt tears in my eyes. I find it difficult to relate to my son sometimes, I’ve been brought up in a female oriented household (we were 3 sisters) and now I have 3 daughters myself, it’s almost like a repeated pattern of the family life I knew. Except for him, my son, who in my eyes, has always been rather difficult to handle compared to the girls. But in reality, he’s just being a boy, and I have to be more understanding of his dissimilar nature and needs. My son will be embarking upon his teens soon, and I’m beginning to view him in a different light, and hope to have a closer relationship with him as he grows older. Deep down I know he is a very good child, a rather sweet and gentle one too, and I love him so very much. I leave you with several images he took in Germany (most of his pictures were blurry!) and a beautiful song which reminds me of him somehow. Perhaps you too will be reminded of a certain little boy in your life! Anyway, I’m pleased my son’s had a wonderful time on his trip and hope to have a similar one in the near future, for now he wants us to drive down to Cologne together and visit all the lovely places he’s been to! 🙂

scenery from boat cruise by River Rhine

castle on hill top

castle up close

cathedral in Cologne

heavy rain in Cologne too!


10 responses

  1. Your post and the song brought tears to my eyes. As a mother, I share your thoughts. But, it is bittersweet for me. Deep inside, I want a boy, but not anymore. For I hope to get three sons in the future (a.k.a sons-in-law). Pray that I will get three wonderful sons.
    Indeed, like you said, he is just being a boy. I pray and I am sure you share a wonderful bond with your son now and always.

  2. Hi, I understand your feelings! My boy, 11yo asked my permission to go on a camping trip. I was reluctant to allow, but Mr. Hubby gave a nod! Although it’s gonna be in 2 months, I amaready feeling worried, especially when he is so excited about it. Do not know what to expect especially dia memang tak biasa dgn hutan dan kampung! Adoilah! Mothers will always be mothers!

    • i can imagine how you’re feeling! but we have to let them go someday, so have to start somewhere i guess. don’t think our worries as mothers will ever end, regardless of how old they will be!

  3. I know exactly how you feel! My sons (yes two of them!) tertinggal van sekolah (different incidents) pun left me in a havoc! And schools don’t allow usage of mobile phones and I had to track them here and there! And yes, boys are pretty difficult to handle emotionally, but just let them be, as long as you tell them we are there for them, insya’Allah 🙂

  4. Tiny little steps toward leaving the nest. I hope he doesn’t leave too soon nor live too far from his sweet mama…

    • i know…he’s certainly becoming more independent…i sincerely hope he won’t venture too far away, now i know how my parents must have felt when i left malaysia 16 years ago!