I’ve had the pleasure of attending two lovely weddings this year; a neighbour’s son got married in mid-summer and a couple of weeks ago my hubby’s cousin tied the knot. Both weddings were of young couples in their 20s embarking on a life-long journey together. Very exciting times indeed, such betrothment tends to remind me of my own feelings as a newly wed many moons ago. I pray that both couples find happiness and have a lasting blessed marriage. And just when I thought all wedding bells are over this year (as the winter months are dawning upon us here), I received a surprise invite to a henna/mehndi party last weekend! This almost 40-year-old friend of mine who got divorced last year suddenly announced out of the blue that she’s getting married again! We were all taken by surprise (my group of lady friends and I), some even thought it was much too soon. The bride-to-be however seemed eager to start afresh. So we all gathered at her place to see her have henna applied on her hands; and we had real great fun eating, chatting and laughing away together!!
This is the second time around I’ve attended a get-together to celebrate a friend’s subsequent wedding. At first I did find it a bit strange, but of late I hear of more second marriages taking place, it has become a rather normal occurrence. Such was not the case when my mom’s generation were in their late 30s or in their 40s, it was almost unheard of. I know of several good friends (both in the East and in the West) who got divorced and have since remarried or are looking forward to do so. I admire these women who want to move on and start anew, after a failed marriage there’s always the fear that things might not work out again. But these women need companionship; and with several children in tow, they wouldn’t say no if the right man pops along. The sort of men they choose are those who’s been through similar circumstances; they are either divorced themselves, or have lost their wives through some illness or tragedy. In some Islāmic cultures it is also common for some middle-aged men to take second wives, I know of a few Muslim women who are in such wedlock.
As indicated earlier, I used to find wedding nuptials other than the conventional one (happily ever after young couples) rather unfamiliar and mystifying. But as I enter the second half of my existence, I find myself exposed to other kinds of union that doesn’t fit my idea of an ideal marriage. I have long learnt to stop judging people, I know I can never put myself in these women’s shoes. Each and every woman is different. I have now learned to accept and think positively of other types of matrimony, as long as all parties are happy with whatever works best for them, so be it. As long as one’s happiness is not built on someone else’s misery that is. In true Islam, women must be treated with honour and compassion. Enough said now, I wish and pray the very best for my friend, hopefully this time around she’ll find the contentment she’s been longing for…
Enjoy the wedding song below dedicated to all newly weds!