self-reflection

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Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. – Margaret J. Wheatley

A soul without reflection, like a pile Without inhabitant, to ruin runs. – Edward Young

Your writing voice is the deepest possible refection of who you are. The job of your voice is not to seduce or flatter or make well-shaped sentences. In your voice, your readers should be able to hear the contents of your mind, your heart, your soul. – Meg Rosoff

the glow from my tea light candle

I shall turn 45 in a few days, InshaAllah (God Willing). How do I feel? Both happy and sad at the same time, to be honest. Happy that God has given me all these wonderful years, blessed with good health and surrounded by love. I remember my sister asking me whether I was happy and content with my current life when she visited me last winter. I answered yes, without a single doubt. I am exactly where I want to be, Alhamdulillah. Oh yes, I’ve had my fair share of tears too. I still miss my late father heaps until today. And yes, there are times when I wish I could have it all perfect, like being in close proximity with the rest of my family and friends back in my homeland, Malaysia. But such is life, it is not perfect. I cannot have it all. But I shall focus on my blessings and not my misfortunes. God knows what is best for me, always, to Him I rely entirely.

Lately, however, I feel a bit sad thinking about friends of my generation who have left this world before me. I remember one or two who passed away whilst we were still undergrads at University. And a couple more who left just after we graduated. One was engaged and the other just returned from her honeymoon. They were gone when the rest of us thought the world was our oyster. And several more had passed on in the recent years too, friends from both my alma mater and boarding school, leaving their beloved families behind. I do not know the length of my life span, nobody knows how long they will live for. I just pray that God continues to shower me with His endless blessings. I pray that I will continue to have the strength to please my Lord; by being a devoted wife to my husband, a loving mother to my 4 children, and a good daughter and sister to my mother and siblings. Last but not least, a real friend to those who consider me as one. I am not perfect, please forgive me for my shortcomings. I pray for success in this world and the next, with God’s guidance and mercy, Ameen.

I leave you with this wonderful Malay song entitled ‘My Return to My Lord’, written by a dear University friend who passed away in 2010 from battling with breast cancer. She was a bubbly jovial character, she was like a big sister to a big group of us back then. She loved to sing, I remember how she sang with all her heart at our 21st birthday celebration (myself along with 2 closest pals at Uni who shared the same birthday week). She was also a famous blogger. Al-Fatihah to Arwah Dalilah Tamrin@Raden Galoh (1967-2010) and to all my friends, acquaintances, family and relatives who have left this world, may your souls rest in peace amongst the pious, Ameen…

ABOUT THE SONG

(A Charity Project initiated by Dalilah Tamrin, an amazing woman whose final moments in this world were spent battling complications of metastatic breast cancer. The production is funded by her very generous personal friends, family and bloggers around the world. The words were originally penned by Dalilah herself, later edited and composed into a song and recorded in Dubai and then later mixed at Grooveworks Studio, KL. This song is about Dalilah’s sacred hopes and solemn thoughts during her quiet moments with God. It is also a message dedicated to those who are being riddled by life’s intricate challenges, trials and tribulations. May all of you be inspired by the words that came from the purest place in this amazing woman’s heart. I hope that you shall remember her in your prayers. Dalilah passed away peacefully on the 19th July 2010. May the memory of her heroism and positive attitude live on in the hearts of the people she’s touched. Amin…)

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