Tag Archives: friends

forever young

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Greetings all! I know, it’s been well over a week since I last blogged. So much for hoping to blog weekly! Each night I try to get on the computer after my children have gone to bed, but I’ll be too shattered to put my thoughts down. My hubby said it doesn’t matter if I blogged every fortnight instead, no point sticking to my once a week writing if it’s not of good quality. I suppose he has a point. Anyway, here I am tonight, missing my blog and ready to share some thoughts with you!

Now that we’re officially middle-aged (my hubby disagrees, he who still has thick curly hair and taut tummy compared to other men his age!), I cannot help but hear of illnesses and deaths all around me. I mean, we do hear about it all the time, but somehow it stays with me a bit longer than usual now that I’m older. I remember losing a very dear cousin of mine when I was about 20. He was barely 17. My first real loss, I was devastated, but I quickly bounced back. I was very sad but I didn’t go around thinking that it could also happen to me. Like being ill or being involved in a tragic accident, it’s unfortunate that it had happened to others but surely it wouldn’t touch me? I then heard of several University mates passing away in my mid 20s, again same line of thoughts occurred. Afterwards a few relatives died suddenly in their late 50s, I remember how I wasn’t too bothered at all. Until my own dad passed away in my early 30s, then it hit me real hard!

I went around like a zombie afterwards, I kept thinking about death. Life seemed really bleak from then on. I wanted to wear all black permanently, I felt no joy whatsoever. My husband was really patient with me, always there to pick me up. I then found happiness once more when my daughter was born the following year. Children keep you busy 24/7, they are the essence of life. You cannot be half dead whilst raising children, you have to be fully awake. You need to be alive in every sense of the word! So my life resumed its normalcy. All 3 of my remaining grandparents also passed away the same year, but I could handle it. I was busy with my family life and more accepting of death. I then lost my dear Uncle a few years ago (so sad, he reminded me of my father a lot), I was able to deal with my emotion through one of my posts, Goodbye Uncle. Until now of course, fast forward 15 years, we arrive to where I am today.

Now it’s like an everyday occurrence almost; I hear so and so being ill, I hear so and so dying. And I start questioning my own mortality, I know I’m being morbid but I just can’t help it. Today I went to the doctor’s for my health check-up, all seemed fine (Alhamdulillah) apart from the usual hormonal change that women my age go through. Even that made me a little upset, I feel as if I’m not able to cope. My hubby said I’m strong and I’ve been through a lot, he’s certain I can jump pass this next hurdle in my life. InshaAllah, I can. But it just breaks my heart to pieces to hear one of my friends from boarding school being terminally ill, yes, at my age. So very young still, as many would consider. Another school friend passed away a couple of years ago, also from cancer. I can’t brush it away anymore like I did 2 decades ago, certainly not. I have to take heed, it’s a reminder. Illnesses and deaths remind us of our temporary existence in this world. One day we too shall perish, sooner or later we don’t quite know.

What do we do in the meantime? We carry on living until our last breath. We do our best in carrying out the roles in life we’ve been carved out to play. We continue to strive for success and happiness. We try to help those around us, we try to be good people. We don’t falter or lose hope. And that’s how I’m going to get through the rest of my life. I shall stay positive, my family needs me. I may be middle-aged, but that’s just a number. I need to stay young at heart, so that I can carry on. There will be thorns here and there, that’s for certain. But I can ride through it, I shall try my best. I shall make the most of my life, no one else is going to do it for me…

With that I end my post. I’m reminded of another favourite of ours at boarding school back in the 80s. Forever young, I want to be FOREVER YOUNG! Do you really want to live FOREVER? The wordings moved me even back then, now it seem very apt. The world we live in today, so much more advanced but still full of pain and suffering. But as Anne Frank (diarist and fugitive of the Third Reich) once said, “Think of all the beauty still left around you and be HAPPY.” Go listen and ponder, a very beautiful song indeed…

leeds-castle

England 1996, my first month away from my homeland Malaysia

heart at home

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Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greetings everyone! How are you all? Apologies for the very long silence. As you must know, I’ve been away visiting my homeland Malaysia for the last 5 weeks. I got there a couple of days before Eidul Fitri celebration and returned to England mid last week. It’s been a memorable trip indeed. I am happy to have had the opportunity to be with my nearest and dearest during those precious 5 weeks. I have so much to share I don’t even know where to begin. But I thought I would pop a few lines first so that you know I’m back to blogging from home! I miss my beloved mother and sisters, my relatives and close friends very much. But I’m also glad to be back in England. My life is here now, I’ve been in England for almost 20 years. Unlike before where I used to get emotional on the flight home to England, I realised that I was calm this time around. In fact I was rather looking forward to returning home. Malaysia was my home, I shall never forget it and all the people and memories that come with it. But England is now my home, and I shall continue to create new memories for my family and I. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter where you are. It’s the people that matters. As long as you have loved ones, you will be content wherever you are. To all those in Malaysia, thank you for the beautiful memories! And to those I haven’t had the chance to meet up with this time around, pray we see each other another time, Inshallah. ❤

My 3 daughters and I with my beloved mom, my 2 sisters, my aunties and cousins

My 3 daughters and I with my beloved mom, my 2 sisters, my aunties and cousins

My 4 children, by the pool at my mom's condominium

My 4 children, by the pool at my mom’s condominium, they swam almost everyday

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me with my mom, auntie and cousin’s wife

my 2 daughters and I with some of my old friends from boarding school

my 2 daughters and I with some of my old friends from boarding school

my 2 daughters and I with friends from my alma mater

my 2 daughters and I with good old friends from my alma mater

my family and I with my sis in Krabi

my family and I with my sis in Krabi

with my closest friends

with my closest friends who have all visited me in England

I miss my

I miss twittering away with my good old friends!

merry may

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Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair and let us huddle together as darkness takes over. We are at home amidst the birds and the trees, for we are children of nature. Susan Polis Shutz

Greetings everyone! It’s been a while since my last chattering, boy, have I been busy! My hubby’s relatives came one after another to visit him after his operation, don’t think we’ve ever had so many of them visiting us in a year like that before. Alhamdulillah, my hubby’s fine now, he went off to The Netherlands for a week’s work trip right after his 3-week leave. I missed him like crazy whilst he was away, have got used to him being around 24/7 for a bit! Amidst all that, my son is currently going through his GCSE exams, fortunately it’s half term this week so he’s able to have a wee break. He was over the moon when his good old friends (more like brothers really) from the UAE visited him for a couple of days (read my previous post), that took his mind off the exam pressure a little. Back to exams next week when school resumes, my big girl will have her year-end exams too. Fortunately for them both exams will be over before Ramadan (annual Muslim fasting month) begins in mid-June, fasting in the summer months can be rather trying due to the long daylight hours!

Apart from that, I’ve been keeping my younger two busy outdoors. Everytime my good old friend M visits me (every couple of years), she will exclaim how much she misses the greenery in England. Having born and bred here, she truly misses it. She’s been in the UAE for a decade now, she’s settled well and is happy there. But nothing can replace the joy of being outdoors in England, that much she’s certain! I totally agree with her of course. That’s why we always try to take our children out whenever we can, ever since they were all little. My older two will sometimes look back at their old photos and can still remember all the lovely places they’ve been to. I think it’s important to create sweet memories for children, especially in today’s challenging and confusing world. Those simple happy carefree days I experienced as a child seem alien to many children of today. Sad really. I still recall my happy childhood, that’s one of the best gifts my parents have bestowed upon me. I would want my children to feel the same when they’re older, Inshallah.

We’re only human, therefore I must mention how I’ve learnt a harsh lesson or two recently. You know when you sometimes reach out to people, where you’re genuinely warm, open, accommodating and naturally expect them to reciprocate? Only to realise later that the other party’s only being amiable or pleasant towards you for some other reason? Not because you mean something to them after all. A minor thing perhaps to some, but to a sensitive soul like mine, it’s a big deal. I’m glad to have an outlet here to share my feelings a little, maybe another delicate heart out there can relate to it too. Well, life goes on, I shall move forward and focus on those truly worthy of my attention. Why waste time on those who don’t really care? People are people I guess, you get all sorts. Now in my 4th decade, I can see more clearly as to who’s a true blue and who’s a fake, wisdom does come with age. Right, I shall leave you on a lighter note. Here’s some memorable pictures I’ve taken recently, which captures the simple happy moments of our little life in England!

special flower

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Friends are the flowers in the garden of life,

Beginning with one seed of trust, 

Nurtured with laughter and tears, 

Growing into loyalty and love.

Thank you my beloved friend M, for the beautiful friendship that's survived the thousands of miles between us. Thank you for visiting me without fail year after year, I feel truly honoured, cherished and loved. May that unique bond between our children from toddler-teenage years blossom as they grow older. You are my very first real friend in the West, who will always occupy a special corner in my heart. You are a remarkable flower in my garden of life. Thank you for being there.

Thank you my beloved friend M, for the beautiful friendship that’s survived the thousands of miles between us now. Thank you for visiting me without fail year after year; I feel truly honoured, cherished and loved. May that unique bond between our children from toddler-teenage years continue to blossom as they grow older. You were my very first real friend in the West, who will always occupy a special corner in my heart. You are a remarkable flower in my garden of life; so strong yet so gentle, just like your wonderful boys my son loves so very much. Thank you for being there, thank you for being in our lives.

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A bittersweet melody which reminds me of the special flower in my little garden, thank you for the rainbow of colours you’ve added to my life’s journey!

spring celebration

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Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’ – Robin Williams

Hello everyone! A quick update from me, before I start to get busy again. The Easter holidays are finally over, we are back to our normal routine this week. It’s been a good 2-week break with pleasant weather, Spring at its best. Although we couldn’t go away anywhere (my son’s busy preparing for his GCSE exams), we managed to take the children out to Warwick Castle (Part 2 to follow soon!) for the day. I also managed to take my girls out for an art and craft session, nature trail and another day out at their favourite country park. We made the most of the fine weather for sure! My hubby’s cousin came to visit as well, along with his wife and their 1-year-old son. It’s always nice to catch up with relatives and friends. To top it all up we also had a little Spring celebration on Saturday, my youngest turned 6! It wasn’t a big birthday bash or anything, just a simple fun day with a few close friends. I just wanted my younger two to enjoy being children for a bit longer! I had a very happy childhood, I don’t want anything less for my children. My older two have grown up a bit now, time just flies! Before I know it my younger two will turn into moody teenagers too. Hopefully that will be a while yet!

hubby dearest with our precious pearls when our youngest was born, Easter 2009

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my children, Easter 2015, I don’t want them to grow up too fast!

I organised a simple party with the help of my older two. My big daughter baked the cakes, my son was in charge of the party games. My big daughter popped out with a couple of school friends during the party, but she came home towards the end to a house full of energetic happy children! My hubby was away for the day to attend a talk in Cardiff. The party was a huge success, we had to extend it for another hour! All the children had a lovely memorable day, my adventurous daughter said she wished she could rewind the day all over again. That was my main intention, for them to have a really fabulous time together. Children in today’s world grow up too fast, in fact for some it’s almost uncool to remain childlike for long. It’s up to us adults really to let our children be children for a wee longer. Hopefully when they finally grow up they will become wholesome adults who can look back on their happy childhood with fondest memories, InshaAllah. And then it’s their turn to raise happy children of their own! Anyway, hope you’ll like the photos from the party, take care everyone!

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