Tag Archives: love

winter blessings

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Whoa! A few weeks have gone by! Apologies for the rather long silence. I was hoping to blog fortnightly at least, since once a week seems almost impossible somehow. But looks like I can’t even manage that! I don’t know what it is, but the weather certainly doesn’t help at all. Winter seems endless this time around, I truly miss the sensation of warm bright sunshine on my skin! I know I’m guilty of complaining it’s too hot each time I return to my homeland Malaysia these days. But in reality I don’t really like the cold, my family and I have been down with one bug after another since December. What can I do to hurry Spring along a bit? Winter also makes me a tad miserable than usual, being in darkness most of the time doesn’t help. Can’t wait for the longer days to come again, I miss going out and about in broad daylight. I miss being out in my little garden (there’s not much life out there at the moment)!

Enough whinging, I guess I just have to be patient a little longer. Spring will dawn upon us before I know it, Inshallah. In the meantime I just have to keep busy with running my household as usual! Amongst the highs there’s also the setbacks that we face time and again of course, such is life. But as long as you have your loved ones, there’s nothing you can’t handle really. For me it’s my beloved husband, my dearest mom, both my younger sisters, my newly acquired brother in law (he’s a real gem) and several trusted friends. No matter what, I know they will always be there for me. For that I’m ever so grateful, Alhamdulillah! That’s all one needs at my age really. To know that there’s always a circle of people I can turn to. And my 4 children of course! They often give me headaches (all mothers can relate to this) with their antics but they are also without a doubt my very source of happiness.

I don’t like being miserable, no one does really. I want to count my blessings, not dwell on my misfortunes. I want to cherish those who are there for my little family and I, life is just too short. Sometimes you don’t realise who’s truly there for you until something eventful occurs. That’s when relationships are tested. That’s when people’s true colours emerge. Winter is certainly a time of reflection for me, I could go on and on! But enough rambling for now, I want to focus on being happy. You could say that’s my hope for this New Year. Life’s too short to be anything but happy! So good vibes from now on, I shall keep smiling and relate to those who bring out the best in me. I should take a leaf out of my friend’s book really. An old friend from my boarding school was in England for a visit, felt honoured when she took the trouble to see me! She’s just as sweet and bubbly as she used to be, laughing away at the end of each sentence she utters. I wish I was more like her!

I was struggling a little to find an appropriate title for this post, but finally settled on ‘Winter Blessings’. My old school friend who is terminally ill is in great pain at the moment, but she is still smiling and grateful for each and every day she has left. I should take heed; focus on my blessings and my loved ones, and be grateful for the chance and time to love and be loved. Despite all the suffering, injustice and evil around us, love still makes the world go round. I’m a great believer of true love, why, I travelled thousands of miles looking for it! I don’t settle for anything less. Celebrate love, no matter how small the gesture. Trust me, the outcome is always GREAT.

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Do small things with GREAT LOVE…

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As newlyweds, England 1997

This beautiful song came out in 1996, the year I met my beloved husband in England. I shall never forget how it made me feel. Euphoria! I had the soundtrack from the movie “One Fine Day” blaring away in our racing green car the day after our wedding. This song in particular I played over and over again. I dedicate this to you my dearest sweetheart! Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over. It was a huge blessing…❤

 

grateful heart

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I just celebrated my birthday at the weekend, so close to my 5th decade already! A thought crossed my mind; will I live to see my 50th, 60th, 70th or 80th birthday? Actually something else triggered this line of thought, a visit to my bereaved friend’s place mid last week. She’s a lovely 70 year old lady who I befriended just over a decade ago. We first met at the local library where we chatted casually. She was skeptical however when she learned that I home-educated my children. I remember how she challenged my views, she’s of the old school where there’s only one route to education. However, over the years she’s become rather fond of me and vice versa. As my children grew older she could see that I’ve done a fairly good job in educating them. She respects me for it and I value her wisdom, advice and friendship. She also loves reading, hence our first meeting at the library many moons ago. So you can imagine how well we got along over the years. Despite the age gap, I can relate to her easily each time we met and chatted.

The last time I bumped into her at the library again (late last Autumn), she told me that her husband of 50 years has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was sudden, no one saw it coming. Then we heard of his passing in early January. I managed to pop round to see her last week, she was grateful I came. She was calm but I caught the tears in the corner of her eyes. She told me how her husband refused any further treatments. Her husband had said that he’s had a good long fulfilling life (he turned 87 just before he died). He didn’t want his life prolonged any further. And 50 years of marriage, what more can she ask for? Everyone has to go someday, like it or not. Main thing is to focus on the blessings, the times you’ve shared together. Her words rang in my head for a while afterwards. I hugged my husband tight and cried when I got home. I realised the future is not ours to see, life is like an open-ended storybook. My parents had 34 years together, until my dad too, passed away so suddenly. What about us? What’s in store for us? How long have we got left?

I can worry and wonder all I want, but it wouldn’t do me any good. You can’t go around living your life like that. You’re supposed to take one day at a time. You focus on the present, you live from moment to moment. You be thankful for all the little things that come your way each day. You be grateful that you’re still alive! I’m reminded of my elder sister at this point, yes, I had an older sister who died in infancy. She was named Siti Baizura. My mom used to tell me how fair and beautiful she was, even as a baby. We visited her grave every year on Eid when I was growing up in Penang. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like had my sister lived. But I’ll never find out. My sister died, I was born a year later. I cheered my parents up just by being born, I took their grief away. They never forgot their eldest who died, it was apparent from the graveyard visits. But their focus shifted, they were happy once again and blessed with 3 more daughters!

I end this post with a grateful heart. I cannot foresee my future but I shall focus on the present and learn from the past. I’m grateful for every little thing; the air I breathe, the roof above my head, the food on my table. I’m grateful for the chance to continue living, to love and to be loved. I don’t know how long I’ve got, only God the Almighty knows. But I am ever so grateful for the 48 years I’ve had, I know I’ve been truly  blessed. The miracle of living, to experience a glimpse of heaven on this earth, for that I can only put my hands up and say, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God)!!! And now let me get back to filling the pages of my open-ended storybook, somehow I’m not so afraid anymore…

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birthday bouquet from my family in Malaysia!

One of my favourites back in the 80s, I think it holds a new meaning for me now….

heart at home

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Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greetings everyone! How are you all? Apologies for the very long silence. As you must know, I’ve been away visiting my homeland Malaysia for the last 5 weeks. I got there a couple of days before Eidul Fitri celebration and returned to England mid last week. It’s been a memorable trip indeed. I am happy to have had the opportunity to be with my nearest and dearest during those precious 5 weeks. I have so much to share I don’t even know where to begin. But I thought I would pop a few lines first so that you know I’m back to blogging from home! I miss my beloved mother and sisters, my relatives and close friends very much. But I’m also glad to be back in England. My life is here now, I’ve been in England for almost 20 years. Unlike before where I used to get emotional on the flight home to England, I realised that I was calm this time around. In fact I was rather looking forward to returning home. Malaysia was my home, I shall never forget it and all the people and memories that come with it. But England is now my home, and I shall continue to create new memories for my family and I. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter where you are. It’s the people that matters. As long as you have loved ones, you will be content wherever you are. To all those in Malaysia, thank you for the beautiful memories! And to those I haven’t had the chance to meet up with this time around, pray we see each other another time, Inshallah. ❤

My 3 daughters and I with my beloved mom, my 2 sisters, my aunties and cousins

My 3 daughters and I with my beloved mom, my 2 sisters, my aunties and cousins

My 4 children, by the pool at my mom's condominium

My 4 children, by the pool at my mom’s condominium, they swam almost everyday

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me with my mom, auntie and cousin’s wife

my 2 daughters and I with some of my old friends from boarding school

my 2 daughters and I with some of my old friends from boarding school

my 2 daughters and I with friends from my alma mater

my 2 daughters and I with good old friends from my alma mater

my family and I with my sis in Krabi

my family and I with my sis in Krabi

with my closest friends

with my closest friends who have all visited me in England

I miss my

I miss twittering away with my good old friends!

final week

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My final week in my homeland, Malaysia, I can’t believe it! Wasn’t it only yesterday when I arrived with my family of 6 all the way from England? Alhamdulilah my intention to celebrate Eidul Fitri (after a month’s fasting in Ramadan) with my beloved mom and sisters have become a reality. I cannot even recall the last time I celebrated Eid in my homeland, it’s been that long! It was probably when my late dad was stil alive. I’ve also had the chance to visit several interesting places in Malaysia, as well as Krabi in Thailand. It’s been a very eventful and memorable trip for sure! But most of all I’ve enjoyed catching up with my beloved relatives and several close friends. Everyone’s been very warm I cannot help but feel a little overwhelmed by it all. I feel truly blessed, Alhamdulilah. I’m so happy that they still cherish their relationship with me, despite me being so far away from them all. My hubby had to return to England first due to work (sob! sob!), so my family and close relatives have organised farewell meals for us. I’m truly moved by their gesture, may God bless them all for their warmth and kindness. I’ve got so much to share but all in good time yeah, InshaAllah! For now these few images shall suffice. Till next time, take care all!

Another farewell dinner with my beloved family,  my hubby had gone home a week earlier due to work

farewell dinner with beloved family, my hubby had gone home earlier due to work

My beloved relatives at another farewell meal for us

my beloved relatives at another farewell meal for us

So nice to see my mom truly happy!

so nice to see my mom truly happy this Eid!

My 4 children have truly enjoyed themselves in my homeland!

my 4 children have truly enjoyed themselves in my homeland!

eid blessings

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Greetings everyone! I hope those who have just celebrated Eidul Fitri (the celebration after a month’s fast in Ramadan) have had the most fantastic time. I feel very blessed this year to have had the opportunity to be with my beloved mom and sisters on this auspicious day. It’s been a truly extra special Eid indeed. I’ve also had the chance to meet up with many of my relatives, it’s been really good. I am still in the process of catching up with more relatives and several good old friends. Alhamdulillah for my Eid blessings this year, I shall treasure them forever. It’s something I’ve wished for a very long time indeed and has finally came true. I’m finally home for Eid!

My family and I with my beloved mom and sisters

My family and I with my beloved mom and sisters