Tag Archives: relationship

brunch date

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Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all of your flaws and mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you’re completely amazing.

It’s the first day of June today and I’m feeling as fresh as a daisy! My hubby and I have had enough crap from people by the time the weekend arrived, we therefore decided it’s time to focus on ourselves for a bit. As it happened, the ideal opportunity came up just at the right time. My son was occupied with his GCSE revision, my big girl and littlest girl were at their Saturday Arabic School and my middle daughter was away in the countryside for a residential trip. Such golden moments are very rare, so we grabbed it without further ado of course. This time we decided to venture further afield for a brunch date. I was so looking forward to it, almost like going out on a first date all over again!

We were spoiled for choice as to where to eat, but finally decided on a particular cafe based on the online Tripadvisor reviews. That’s one good thing about modern technology, I must admit. Food was exceptionally good, unlike our regular breakfast at our local Sainsbury supermarket cafe. It was a special treat, one we both deserved. We ate, chatted, laughed; it was a light, magical moment. Weather was perfect too, beautiful in fact. Blue sky, cotton wool clouds, 14c with no wind. Who would have thought a simple outing like this could bring out the best in us both? We made a mental note to go out on more dates in the near future, God Willing.

can you spot me?

can you spot me at the cafe?

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latte for me and chai for my hubby

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full english breakfast with duck’s eggs and bubble and squeak for hubby

my salmon egg benedict

my eggs benedict with salmon and chives topped with hollandaise sauce

hubby and I

hubby and I

After dining for an hour, we went for a stroll. The area we were at had many boutiques and bespoke stores, it was a great place for window shopping. We were like a young couple once more; giggling away at this and that, discovering hidden gems together. We ended by a bench overlooking a beautiful park, laughing away like mad as we tried to take a selfie together. My hubby said it was like getting to know me once more, I felt the same. It’s so easy to lose yourselves when you’ve been married for almost 2 decades, what more when there’s 4 children as well. It hadn’t been easy raising a family all on our own. But (Alhamdulillah) we managed somehow and now we can have a breather as the children are all older.

It’s time for us again now I hope, aside from being mom and dad we also want to focus on being ‘you and I’. It’s not in our culture to leave our children with babysitters, so that’s out of question I’m afraid. But we look forward to more opportunities such as this brunch date in the near future, as our children will have more commitments of their own as they grow up. Anyway, I leave you with some pictures I took from our brunch date, as always, not everything can be captured. You will certainly lose the essence of your special moment if you keep snapping away. Have a good week ahead folks! To fellow Muslims, our countdown to Ramadan has certainly begun!

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an aladdin’s cave we discovered

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leisurely stroll by a historical building

awesome architecture

awesome architecture

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we strolled passed my dream hotel, maybe a 1 nite stay on our silver anniversary?

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Sitting on the bench together reminds me of this song; our happy moment, Alhamdulillah! 

unforgettable april

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Greetings everyone, hope you’re all well. I do apologise for the long silence, indeed I have neglected my blog. I’ve been very busy since the school term resumed after our long Spring break. And last Friday, my dearest hubby underwent a scheduled minor operation at the hospital. He’s back home now, Alhamdulillah. But the past week had been a roller coaster of emotions for us. My beloved hubby who’s the bedrock of our family has always been there for us. It’s a bit strange when the roles are reversed, he’s the one who was in need this time around. I took him to the surgery admissions unit and stayed with him for a while. We said our goodbyes, I kissed his hand many times and asked for forgiveness. He said I’ve always been a wonderful wife to him. From then on I was left in the dark, not knowing what’s in store for us. He was under general anaesthetics, which worried me a little. I made lots of prayers, texted my nearest and dearest. I tended to my children and my father in law who came down to be with his only son. Those few hours felt like eternity, I ended worried sick but relied totally on my Creator. At the end of the day, everything is in His hands. We strive, hope and pray…

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hubby and I, Spring 2015

I rang the hospital afterwards, my hubby was still in the recovery room. He hasn’t woken up. That niggling worry in me returned. But I kept busy, I drove my girls to their madrasa (evening Quran school) and prepared tea for my father in law. My son spent his time with his grandpa after he returned from school. Then I drove them both to the hospital to visit my hubby. I went back to madrasa to fetch my girls. Finally, we all trooped down to the ward where my hubby was. I saw my father in law stroking his son’s hair, I saw my son holding his dad’s hand. I looked at my hubby, I’ve never seen him so weak before. As my youngest daughter said afterwards, she thought papa was dying. My middle daughter started sobbing uncontrollably, my big daughter tried to blink away her tears but failed. I was in a zombie mode, like I had been when my late dad was in hospital. I squeezed my hubby’s hand; I witnessed his tears and the pain he was going through. The anaesthetic effect was horrible, it made him emotionally raw. But it was real, I saw my hubby for who he is. And I felt closer to him more than ever. Alhamdulillah, a few days have passed by now, my hubby is slowly recovering at home. I’m very grateful to all who have been concerned for us; families, relatives, friends (both near and far) and neighbours. It’s at times such as this that one realises the true meaning of life. For life is meaningless without good health, genuine love from your beloved and support from people around you. Praise be to God for the many blessings in my life.

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someone to love

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They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world:

someone to love, something to do, something to hope for. Tom Bodett

Greetings everyone! I came across this headline in The Independent newspaper today, ‘Loneliness a major problem in England.’ Hmm, what can I say, a very sad predicament indeed. In this day and age, when people seem to have everything, yet there are many out there who are lonely. I think it only emphasises that money can’t buy you happiness. Material things only give you instant gratification. Happiness comes from being with others. So what about the 24/7 connection you have with others then? We live in an age of high technology, we are all connected to everyone we ever knew as well as strangers. How can one still be lonely with thousands of ‘friends’ out there? Because those people do not really matter to you. They are not there for you in your ‘real’ life. At the end of the day, in your daily existence, you need someone to love, you need someone by your side. You need a family of your own. This is part of our human makeup that cannot be denied or substituted. No point saying, I’m fine on my own! When you get to a certain age, you feel the need to settle down with that special someone. Every normal living mortal will have that urge.

me in the early days of marriage

me in the early days of marriage

Memories of my own strong feelings to settle down suddenly came flooding back. Two decades have passed by, but I still remember it all. I was alone in a foreign land, pursuing my Masters program. I was to proceed with a PhD afterwards then return to Malaysia to teach at my alma mater. But I couldn’t resist this strong inclination to accept the marriage proposal from this wonderful man who is now my husband. Should I have refused him then, perhaps finished all my studies first? Would he have waited for me? That’s not even the point though, I really felt I should tie the knot at that moment in time, I was truly ready. It felt right. Like a jigsaw puzzle, suddenly all the pieces fitted well together. I knew marriage was the best thing for me. Nothing else mattered. Call me self-centred if you wish, but I knew I was embarking upon a lifetime journey, a new episode in my life. There was no turning back. And he wasn’t ‘foreign’, he was perfect for me! It felt so good and I was over the moon when my parents finally gave me their blessings. They flew to London with both my sisters to attend the wedding, Alhamdulillah! The loneliness deep within me disappeared, I then felt complete.

my hubby, the 'foreigner' who stole my heart

my hubby, the ‘foreigner’ who stole my heart

All that seemed like a lifetime ago. Our son came along two years later, followed by our 3 daughters. I now have 4 other versions of my hubby and myself! My youngest is almost 6 now, where has the time gone? My son was just reminding me the other day that he will be off to University in a couple of years, all being well. I can’t believe it somehow. Seems only yesterday my late father was cradling him in his arms! Time goes by so quickly sometimes, it’s a bit daunting. But what keeps us going is that someone to love, who’s always there for you, no matter what. How do you find that someone? By being a special someone yourself, worthy of someone’s love and attention for the rest of their life. It doesn’t really matter if you found that person yourself, or arranged through family, as the norm with many Asian Indo-Pak families here in England. It’s your intention that matters. If you want your marriage to work, you will do what it takes to keep it going. Both parties have to give their best. Sacrifice, commitment, loyalty, some common words in your married life. Too much for you? Back to the headlines then, the dreaded word ‘loneliness’. I knew I didn’t want to stay on that path…

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no selfie yet at the time, just our camera on self-timer!

I fell in love with this song about the time I met my husband, I used to think how beautiful the lyrics were.

mother’s love

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It was Mother’s Day in Malaysia yesterday, over here in the UK it was celebrated back in March. I don’t think I can ever blog enough about my mother, the woman who means the world to me. I have arrived at the stage in my life where I feel really close to my mother. Perhaps you might find that ironic considering the fact that she’s 6,500 miles away from me! I’m very much like my mother in many ways, therefore we clashed a lot whilst I was growing up. I was head strong and so was she, my late dad was the one I turned to at times when my mom failed to understand me. I realised now that she always had my best interest at heart, but because we were so much alike in character and personality, we found it hard to communicate effectively.

It’s rather different now, for the past 2 decades since I’ve become a wife and mother myself our relationship has improved in more ways than one. I think we’ve both changed as people as we age further, which leads to better understanding and acceptance of one another. I used to favour my late dad more as a parent; he was the sensitive, emotional and caring one, always there with a warm hug, the one I could talk to and vice versa. But I know now that it’s my mother who I needed most (especially now); I value her advice, wisdom and prayers more than ever. As I raise my 4 children I realised that my mom treated my 2 younger sisters and I differently because each child is unique, not because she favours one over the other. Being the eldest I used to resent how my mom paid more attention to my younger sisters as we were growing up. I know now it’s not because she loved me any less, but because she felt that I was very independent (I was at boarding school since 13). I could go on and on about my relationship with my mother, I could write on forever.

In a nutshell however, let’s just say that I’m truly glad that I’ve reached this point where I totally understand and accept my mother for who she is. And vice versa of course. I know she misses me and my family and wished we were geographically closer. But I also know it would break her heart if I was round the corner from her but depressed in my life. As reluctant as she was when she agreed to let me marry a ‘foreigner’ almost 2 decades ago, I know she is at peace when it comes to me because I am happy where I am, with my beloved husband and children. And that is what a loving mother wishes for her dear daughter, to be blessed and content in her life. Thank you Mama for your endless love and prayers, I will never be able to repay you for all that you’ve done for me, I am eternally grateful. You are the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, I am proud to be your daughter forever. My family and I miss and love you so very much, may we meet again sometime soon, InshaAllah. Happy Mother’s Day to you and all other beautiful moms out there. ❤ ❤

my mother during her youth

my mother in her youth

my mother in her 7th decade

my mother in her 7th decade

 

 

my mother

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Mother's Day wish from my dear old friend

Mother’s Day wish from my dear old friend who inspired this post

my beloved mom with my dearest sisters

my beloved mother with my dearest sisters on Mother’s Day in Malaysia

I woke up to a lazy Sunday morning seeing my beloved family on my Whatsapp message, it made me very happy indeed. My sisters had taken our dearest mother to a high tea buffet at a hotel back in my homeland, in conjunction with Mother’s Day (celebrated in March in England). How I wish I could have been there with them of course. Our mother deserves the best, we can never repay her for all that she’s done for us. That is why my sisters go all out to make her feel wonderful whenever there’s an opportunity to do so, such as on this special day. My mother is in her 7th decade now, she may have slowed down a bit due to her age but in my mind and heart she’s still the strong mother I’ve always known. I still see her in her teacher mode, her profession during her working life. She taught us from the day we were born, we continue to learn from her today. She’s always been there for us, her love knows no boundaries.

Now my 4 children gets a dose of her affection too, my only regret is that we are 6,500 miles away. As the eldest, I feel that I’m the most distant from her, both emotionally and geographically. I was the one she was the most strict with, we grew further apart when I went away to boarding school at the tender age of 13. But deep down inside I know she loves me very much, as I do her. I may not be able to say “I love you mom” as easily as my younger sisters, I may not be able to hug her and say “thank you mom for everything that you’ve done for me”, but I love her heaps nonetheless. I feel that I can relate to her more now than ever before, since I became a mother myself 14 years ago. I understand her feelings and emotions better, I now view things from her eyes. I’m grateful to have her in my life, from the day I was born to date. I pray she continues to have good health, faith and well-being, I pray for her happiness and contentment always. Happy Mother’s Day mama, I love you so very much… ❤

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my beloved mother (centre) cutting the Mother’s Day cake with the other moms at the hotel

This gentle melody reminds me of my mom; the beautiful woman who has raised my sisters and I the best way she knew how, the light of my father’s life, lovely, never never change, coz we love you…Wishing all mothers a Happy Mother’s Day!

mama